Behind her bubbly and funny character, Alex Gonzaga admitted that she had a personal struggle which she kept secret for a long time.
The internet star narrated that this happened when her sister Toni was starting to get famous. At the time, Alex noticed that her mother Pinty always showed her favor towards her older sister.
She also added that her mom always preferred listening to Toni’s stories rather than hers. Alex sulked over this and doubted her mother’s love for her. This prompted Alex to find herself and her place in this world.
Alex revealed this during her heart to heart talk with Toni on the latter’s vlog.
Alex said,“Dati iniisip ko, na parang hindi ko makukuha ‘yung pagtingin nila katulad ng pagtingin nila sa ate pero ngayon, na-realize ko, parang mas mahal pa nila ako kasi never nilang ginawa sa ate ‘yung lumabas sa vlog.
“Never kahit interview, hirap na hirap sila. So, the fact na ginagawa nila ‘yun for me. . .” she added.
“Nun’g nagsimula ‘yung vlog ko, parang na-realize ko na ang kailangan ko lang pala ‘yung tingin kong tao na parang kakumpetensya ko or parang ‘ay naku, papatunayan ko sa inyo na iba ‘yung akin.’ Sila pala ang kasama ko para ma-achieve ‘yun.”
The 32-year-old star also revealed that she always runs to her boyfriend Mikee Morada before to confess her problems and cry.
“2016. Dating kami ni Mikee, I would always cry kay Mikee kasi tumawag sakin ang mommy ko, ‘O Catherine may nag-iinquire sa ‘yo, ganito ganyan, ano? Ilan ang gusto mong vlog?’ Yung binibigyan ako ng mommy ng freedom to choose kung ano yung gagawin sa scope of work.
“So, sabi ko, ‘No no no, mommy, okay lang sa’kin yung ganto o itong vlog na ‘to’ kumbaga may input ako sa nangyayari.
“Tas binaba ko yung phone ta’s alam mo sabi ni Mikee, ‘Huy nagagawa mo na yun gusto mo.’”
“Sabi ko, ‘Huh? Bakit?’ ‘Ano ka ba last year umiiyak ka sa’kin, sabi mo gusto mo ma-appreciate ka ng parents mo.’ Kasi dati ang mommy ko, ‘O ganito yun sa ate mo dati, so gusto mo ba yun ganito?’ Laging may comparison,” Alex recounted.
Toni then asked her sister to give advice to the younger generation who experience the same predicament of finding their own identity in this world.
“You just have to trust the process, whatever life throws at you right now. May mga challenges na ibibigay sa atin at lahat ng experiences mo, may it be bad or good, celebrate. ‘Pag mas maraming bad doon ka mas natututo at doon mo mas nakikita kung ano ‘yung kailangan mong baguhin.
“Ako it took me years here in the industry to realize who I am, kung ano talaga ‘yung kaya kong ibigay na kailangan kong maging proud at kailangan kong tanggapin. Those twelve years were all a blur and a struggle lalo na sa kalooban ko,” Alex emotionally replied.