Social media darling Sachzna Laparan reveals that she has been suffering anxiety and depression for the past three years.
“Anxiety and depression are not a joke. Kailangan nating maging aware. Mahalin natin lahat ng mga taong nasa paligid natin. Kamustahin natin.”
These were Laparan’s words on her April 4 vlog as she shared her story of how these conditions have plagued her life since 2019.
“Tatlong taon ko ‘tong pinagdaan. Nandun pa rin siya e. Hindi naman siya nawawala. Pero alam ko sa sarili ko na nagiging mas better ako everyday,” she said.
She revealed that every December and special occasions like New Year, Birthday, and Valentine’s Day caused her anxiety the most.
Her mental health had also worsened to the point that she attempted to take her own life.
“December 2019 nag-attempt ako na ayoko na talagang maulit. First and last. Akala ko talaga wala na talaga. Pero nung meron pa akong medyo naririnig pa ako nung ginawa ko na ‘yun, awang awa ako sa mama ko,” she recalled.
After that experience, she realized that doing so would only make her seem selfish, given that many people love her, especially her family.
“Pag gising ko, tanga-tanga ko na parang napaka-selfish ko. Natapos nga ‘yung problema ko pero ‘yung family ko parang iiwanan ko silang ganun. Pero hindi ko kaya. Maraming nagmamahal sa akin. Sobrang selfish ko ‘pag ginawa ko ‘yun.
“Kaya sabi ko hindi na mauulit ‘yun. Natuto na ako,” she added.
Her anxiety flared up again the following year, in the same month of December, making it difficult for her to breathe and move.
“Bago mag-2021, December dumating na naman. ‘Yun ‘yung time na parang ‘di na ako makahinga. Hirap nang huminga. Sabi ko anong nararamdaman ko.
“Di na ko makahinga. Naninigas na ‘yung katawan ko. Umiiyak ako kasi nahihirapan ako. Nahihirapan ako, sobrang hirap,” Laparan said.
She also mentioned on her vlog that she had already met with three psychiatrists because there were times when she was dissatisfied with the psychiatrist she spoke with, prompting her to seek out another.
She also said that the medications she takes are already potent, to the point she becomes dazed or unaware of her surroundings.
The 22-year-old model later revealed that she is trying to help herself conquer the anxiety and depression that she had been dealing with for years.
“Gustong-gusto kong tulungan ‘yung sarili ko. Alam mo ‘yung gusto kong instant na maging magaling na ako. Kasi nahihirapan ako ‘yung mga taong nasa paligid ko nahihirapan din,” she said.
During her darkest times, the vlogger drew strength from God and the people who believe in and trust her.
“Kaya sabi ko, kung wala kang masumbungan, wala kang maiyakan. Iiyak mo lahat kay God. Iiyak mo lahat sa Diyos. Magbigay ka ng tiwala sa kanya. Sa kanya ka kumapit. Kasi sa kanya lang din ako kumakapit ngayon. Hanggang ngayon kumakapit pa din ako. Hindi mawawala ‘yung pagkakapit ko na ‘to.
“Kumakapit ako sa mga taong nagtitiwala sa akin, naniniwala sa akin. Lumalaban din ako because of them. Etong nararamdaman naming ‘to hindi arte. Kasi hindi rin naman namin ‘to ginusto. Gusto rin namin ‘tong mawala,” she continued.
Laparan found the courage not to return and recall what she went through. She then urged those who are going through similar experiences to open their minds, claiming that the minds are the hardest to resist.
“Ayoko ng alalahanin ‘yung pinagdaanan ko. ‘Yung dilim na pinagdaanan ko. Ayoko ng balikan. Ayoko ng balikan lahat nun.
“Pero, nung nakita ko lahat na parang ang daming nangangailangan, kailangan natin maging aware. Sa mga may pinagdadaanan, kailangan nating magbukas lahat ng isip natin kasi isip ‘yung pinakamahirap labanan. Eto ‘yung pinakamahirap labanan sa lahat,” she claimed.
She also encouraged everyone to check in with their family and friends and see how they were doing, as anxiety and depression know no age, living status, or career limits.
“Payo ko lang sa lahat, kumustahin niyo lahat. Anak niyo, magulang niyo, kapatid niyo, mga kaibigan niyo, lahat kamustahin niyo. Walang pinipili ‘to. Bata, matanda, mayaman, may kaya, walang pinipili ‘to. Social media influencer, artista, dadapuan ka neto. Pero sandata lang talaga natin si God,” said Laparan.
Sachzna Laparan is a Filipina model, actress, and one of her generation’s most influential social media personalities. She gained prominence through her entertaining vine videos online.
To date, the model has more than 1.8 million YouTube subscribers and over 2.7 million followers on Facebook.
Her father, Jacob Policarpio, is a guitarist while her mother, Christine Laparan Policarpio takes care of the family’s daily needs. She also has a younger sibling named Ryannah Julia Policarpio.
Sachzna began her modeling career when she was fifteen years old. Among her endorsements include Blacksheep (2015) and Sketchers (2016), and A-Plus All Weather Paint’s official “Paint Babe” (2016).
She was named Models of Manila’s “Model of the Year 2016” and one of Malaysia’s “Most Influential Women.”
She is also famously known as Miss Flawless for promoting Frontrow Products and later appeared in Ex-Battalion’s music video Ms. Flawless.
But more than an influencer, the social media celebrity is now a CEO of her own business, which launches her skincare product, ‘S by Miss Flawless.’
Currently, Sachzna plays the role of Janet in TV5’s newest teleserye Niña Niño, starring former Kapamilya star Maja Salvador and 2017 Cinemalaya Best Actor Noel Comia Jr.