You know those times when you’re with your partner but you’re both spending more time on your phones than engaged with each other, but it’s totally not a big deal? Yeah, well, you’re wrong.
It’s a huge deal. Technically, you’re both guilty of “pphubbing,” the act of “partner phone snubbing,” which new research shows could cause long-term negative effects in your relationship and personal life.
Yes, it is a real thing, and experts believe it has slowly become an epidemic everywhere in the world.
On Instagram yesterday, Cristine Reyes-Khatibi reposted a family life article about cellphones and how it can ruin a marriage.
The post reads:
In the last 15 years the cell phone has conquered the world. I could make a list of 50 ways these phones have improved our lives. But if you’re like me and can remember what life was like before we all got cell phones, you may wonder if all the changes are really for the good.
Remember those days when you could go to a movie—or to church—and not worry about being distracted by ringing phones or by the white glow of someone texting a friend? Remember when meetings at work weren’t interrupted by phone calls that people just had to accept?
And here’s one scene we all see regularly:
You walk into a restaurant and you notice a couple seated near you. And you notice that they really are not enjoying this opportunity to be together, because one is patiently waiting for the other to stop talking or texting on the cell phone. And you think, How sad that they aren’t talking to each other.
A number of readers were dismayed at how addiction to the new technology was affecting their marriages. For example: * “I’m usually the spouse waiting for my husband to get off the cell, iPad, instagram, text messaging, Facebook, or some other game that has him hooked. I’m tired of having my conversations through text messages and would enjoy an old-fashioned conversation face-to-face. But the truth is we barely have anything to say to each other anymore.” * “My husband and I have struggled for the last 25 years of our marriage with conversation, but what has happened now is Facebook has taken over. If dinner isn’t ready when he comes home, he’s on Facebook until it is. Every morning he gets up and hits Facebook to see who’s been on. Sadly he does not see it as an issue. And I fear I am not alone in this.”
* “I am one of those people at the restaurant with her spouse, waiting and feeling lonely. My husband is always looking at his phone, checking his email or his bank account, his Facebook, and his texts. I just sit waiting and thinking to myself, Why am I not good enough for him? Why does he have to be entertained by everyone and everything else? It deeply depresses me and he just cannot understand my point of view.” Copyright © 2012 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.
Cristine and husband Ali Khatibi got married on January 27 this year, on Balesin Island.
