Fifth Solomon, former PBB housemate-turned-director, made a heart-wrenching confession about his struggles with depression during a press conference for his latest film Sa Muli on April 13.
In a raw and emotional moment, he shared how this mental health condition has taken a toll on both his personal and professional life.
He revealed he wants to go back to the time when he was happy and not afraid to take medication, as it has been a real struggle for him to control his emotions.
“Gusto ko balikan yung panahon na gigising ako na masaya ako, hindi yung gigising ako na natatakot ako na malungkot ako, ayaw ko na mag-gamot. Nalaman ko kasi na yung gamot pala ginawa niya akong zombie, wala akong emosyon, hindi ako pwede maging masaya, hindi ako pwede maging malungkot. Nahirapan ako kasi, artist ako e. I write sa tulong ng emosyon ko, I direct sa tulong ng emosyon ko.”
While medication can be a vital tool in treating mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, it can also have side effects that affect a person’s creativity and emotional range.
The filmmaker also shared that he has had a tough time in the industry, especially with the low outcome of his previous films.
In a brave admission, he comes clean about how he battled with crippling depression while working on a project this year.
“Naging hindrance talaga siya [depression], kasi meron akong shinoot nitong year lang na parang sobrang depressed ako na, na parang hindi ko na kaya. Pero hindi ko pwede ipa-pack up yung shoot kasi ang daming nagt-trabaho hindi lang naman ako yung kailangan ng trabaho. Ang hirap kasi tinamaan ako ng depression during the shoot, pero kailangan mo lumaban, kasi ikaw yung nagc-control ng shoot, ikaw yung director.”
Solomon also spoke about the importance of having a strong support system, especially during tough times. He said that his current partner has been a great help in managing his mental health, and he hopes to be with him in his next life.
“Ako gusto ko siya pa rin yung mamahalin ko sa mga susunod na buhay, kasi maalaga siya, tsaka maintindi. Ako may mga pinagdadaanan ako ngayon, natutulungan niya talaga ko ngayon with my depression, my mental health. Ayun yung kailangan kong tao talaga, and ilang bese na kong nasaktan. And nung nahanap ko na yung tamang tao, ang saya lang na mahanap yung tamang tao. Hahanap-hanapin mo talaga sa susunod na buhay.”
Despite his struggles, he remains optimistic and determined to fight his depression every day. He said that growing up without parents has made him more independent and resilient, and he continues to push through every challenge that comes his way.
“Ang importante naman, nilalabanan mo yung lungkot.”
Ryza Cenon and Xian Lim team up for the period drama movie Sa Muli. Get ready to travel back in time as this Viva Films-produced movie hits the cinemas on April 26!
